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250301

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y/n    
it's the weekend    
ㅎㅅㅎ    
so, your happiness    
“chaeyeon comes to fromm often, i love it”    
i love you too    
oh? is it hot today?    
huh? it's going to rain?    
you wore short sleeves?    
hey    
do you want to get scolded    
yeah, it's dark, i admit that    
i opened my window to air out my room, but    
it's not that cold    
i air out my room every day    
if you want your room to smell nice, ventilation is a must    
yesterday's live  
you said i looked pretty  
but i was only there for a moment?\!    
ㅋㅋㅋ did you see me?    
last night before bed,    
i read the messages y/n sent    
said i was pretty,    
thought, "ah, what a relief,"    
then washed up and went to sleep    
what’s an lg twins outfit??    
no wonder, when i wore that out,    
the company staff kept asking,    
“chaeyeon, do you like lg?”    
so i was like,    
"huh?? what??"    
but actually, i didn’t buy that outfit,    
a stylist i know gave it to me    
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ    
i had no idea what it was, just wore it since the weather was nice,    
but every time i ran into the staff,    
they’d be like, “chaeyeon likes lg, huh\~”    
and i was just like    
?? out of nowhere?\!    
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ    
i just wore it ‘cause it was pretty    
i don’t really know baseball, sorryㅠㅠ    
never been to a game,    
but i did go for a first pitch onceㅠㅠ    
i don’t know much about sports    
sob sob    
sports-illiterate kim chaeyeon    
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅌㅌ    
why do you guys baby me so much    
thank you    
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ anyway    
i saw all the feedback about my hair    
luckily,    
everyone said it looked nice    
but honestly,    
right before going on stage,    
i was so worried, even after it ended,    
i went to jiwoo like,    
“jiwoo, i don’t think i looked that pretty today...    
should i not have done the bun... ㅠㅠ”    
and jiwoo just went,    
“no?    
it was fine today?    
i thought it looked okay?”    
kinda in that tone, so i was like,    
"she’s comforting me, huh"    
ㅋㅋㅋㅋ    
but no,    
i wanna hear it from y/n    
also, last night, kim soomin and jeong hayeon    
came to my bed and attacked meㅠㅠ    
ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ    
they just showed up,    
we ended up talking for over an hour,    
then went to sleep    
hayeon and soomin said i was pretty    
🙊    
so shy    
why is everyone like this    
ㅠㅠㅠㅠ    
you’re all the beautiful ones    
ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ    
right now, i’m doing splits    
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ    
doing splits while on fromm    
why "oh my"    
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ so funny    
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ    
this is killing me    
"oh my"    
why is "oh my" so funnyㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ    
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅌ  

*🍑: “actually, when i was younger, i used to be able to do the splits, but as i got older, my body stiffened up a bit. i’m pretty flexible, though. it’s not just me saying this—whether it’s my pilates instructor, my pt instructor, or any instructor, they all say i’m flexible. but the thing is, i don’t try to do the splits because i’m scared. it hurts. but since i’m flexible, i’m trying to push myself again and get back to it. haha”*

so my mom sent a yoga mat and foam roller to our dorm,    
so i’m using that now    
splits honestly hurt    
even as a kid, i cried doing them    
and honestly, even now    
i can’t get a full 180...    
i mean, if i force it, i kinda can,    
but it hurts so much i might cry    
the instructor pushes down on me,    
i do the splits, then    
i also have to press my upper body to the floor,    
like this:    
   	ㅣㅣ  
ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ  
imagine that middle line is my upper body    
and the bottom line is my legs    
then the instructor    
steps on my hip and pelvis area,    
so i get pressed down more,    
and yeah,    
that’s how it was when i was younger  
then the instructor sets a timer,    
and i just have to endure it    
cry until i’m exhausted,    
then just breathe and hold on    
ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ    
i can’t do that anymore,    
but i can do the frog pose    
oh, and tmi    
when i was little,    
you know how kids get sent to taekwondo from kindergarten?    
i also went to a taekwondo center that my daycare sent me to,    
but i didn’t go separately,    
it was just part of the lessons, i guess    
but then,    
we had to take a test on forward and backward rolls    
and i was really bad at rolling    
i was seriously scared of it, isn’t that weird?    
so, you’re supposed to run forward, do a roll, and land properly,    
but every time i rolled,    
instead of going straight,    
i fell off to the side    
basically, chaeyeon taking a different path from everyone else    
same with backward rolls,    
i always rolled in some weird direction    
my friends were all like “ㅋㅋㅋㅋ kim chaeyeon is so funny”    
and the taekwondo instructor was like,    
“chaeyeon, where are you always going?”    
sports i’m good at?    
hmm, does this count as a sport?    
i’m good at badminton    
in middle school,    
i got an A++    
an A two plus    
i’m good at badminton rallies    
golf too (self-proclaimed)    
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ    
my unnie is good at golf, so i plan to learn from her later    
but soccer and baseball,    
i don’t know the rules,    
so i can’t play    
for dodgeball,    
i’m really good at dodging    
always one of the last ones standing    
ㅇㅇ i can’t catch the ball,    
so i just get hit instead    
but dodging? that’s my specialty    
i dodge and    
pass the ball to my teammates standing outside the opponent’s line    
"if you dodge and last until the end, does that actually help the team? so did you win?"    
i just throw the ball to my teammates on our side,    
and since they’re good,    
we winㅓㅓㅓ    
so yeah, in dodgeball,    
the ones who don’t get hit and hold out till the end win    
whoa, life lesson right here    
if you endure, you win    
just hold on    
you’ll win someday    
and the opponent you must defeat…    
is your past self……..    
ㄴㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ    
how did this turn from sports talk    
into serious life advice    
but guys,    
you like this kind of thing, don’t you?    
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ    
suddenly serious mode    
\#seriousmode    
*🍑: “the opponent i have to beat is…\*wheeze my yesterday self.”*   
okay, let me say it again, but cooler    
*🍑: “the opponent i have to beat is- \*wheeze”*  
“i really felt this while taking the college entrance exam, i realized i don’t know if enduring means winning, but you just have to endure    
instead of falling into self-pity, thinking,  “why do i have to go through this hardship,” it’s better to just push through without overthinking that’s the only way to survive”    
i have something i want to say    
it might get a bit long,    
so i’ll say it in “mmeh” mode

*🍑: “what i felt while reading this person’s message is that when i’m struggling or having negative thoughts, instead of completely avoiding them and just forcing myself to stay positive, i think it's inevitable that those negative feelings will come back eventually. because they haven’t actually been resolved. so, i think having a certain level of regret or contemplation is actually really healthy. but rather than completely drowning in self-pity like in this person’s writing, the real problem comes when you let yourself sink too deep into those thoughts, especially the ones that can be harmful to yourself. that’s why i believe it’s best to acknowledge a reasonable amount of regret, think things through, and then move on.”*  
*🍑: “also, i often say things like, "nothing lasts forever." and it's true, nothing does. but at the same time, i always talk about wanting to stay together for a long time. still, i think the phrase "nothing lasts forever" can actually be comforting when you're going through a tough time. because when you're in a situation where you’re wondering, "why is all of this happening to me? why do all these hardships keep piling up at once?" remembering that nothing is permanent can be reassuring. this difficult moment won’t last forever. it will pass. time will keep moving forward. and if this is something i’m meant to go through, then, just like this person’s writing says, instead of letting myself get completely consumed by it, i should just hold on and endure. because this moment isn’t forever. that’s how i think about it, and that’s how i got through it too.”*  

i'm just speaking whatever comes to mind,    
so my words might be a little unorganized,    
but just listen anyway..    
my voice is a little hoarse too ㅋㅋ..    
even i'm listening to what i just said  

*🍑: “to be honest, when i was younger- well, even now, i still consider myself an optimistic person, but back then, i think my mindset was even more positive than it is now. looking back, i feel like it was because i was younger and my perspective on the world was much narrower compared to now.*  

*sorry about the motorcycle noise, i left the window open for ventilation. anyway, since my worldview was more limited back then, i think i was able to live more easily and simply, without overcomplicating things. i don’t feel like i’ve changed drastically from when i was younger because i had similar thoughts even back then, but my overall mindset used to be more optimistic, always bright and straightforward when dealing with things.*  

*i do believe that being positive is better than being negative, but if i’m overly positive while ignoring my own faults or shortcomings, that’s not good for me in the long run- because i won’t even recognize what the actual problem is. that’s why, like i mentioned earlier, i think a certain level of regret and reflection is actually healthy for us. but of course, it has to be kept in moderation. if you overdo it, you might not be able to pull yourself out of it.*  

*so, having just the right amount of regret and self-reflection allows it to turn into experience, and that experience becomes an opportunity for growth. i think that’s the difference between how i used to think as a kid and how i see things now.”*  

yeah, i'm really glad everyone understands..    
i think too much of anything is bad    
a little bit of regret and reflection is good for us,    
as long as we don’t get too caught up in it  

*🌊:*  *i actually quit my entrance exam prep not too long ago because it was too hard for me. from that day on, i cried myself to sleep for about three days. but during that time, i reread all the words from an unnie i had been following separately. and from then on, things got a little better. i don’t really know what i’m trying to say, but i just wanted to say thank you. i think i just wanted to tell you that i’m happy now because of you.*  
*🍑:* *yeah, that’s right. when things get too hard and exhausting, we all need a space to breathe. whether it’s something that refreshes us, comforts us, a hobby, or even a person we like—having that one thing, like i do, makes a big difference. it gives a sense of security and trust.*

*and for me, knowing that i can be that kind of presence for someone else, or that i can provide something like that… i’m truly grateful. so thank you, too.*

*it really feels like getting advice from a life senior without any pretense. in the profile, there are people younger than me, people my age, and even those older than me. i may be in my twenties now, but i still feel like i have a long way to go. i see myself as someone still in the process of becoming an adult.*

*to those who are truly grown-ups, people older than me, i probably just seem like a kid from their perspective. i’m very aware of that. but despite that, i appreciate that the things i say here are taken seriously, that people read and understand them.*

*🍑:* *honestly, if you just look at it logically, i’m what- 21, 22? i’m just in my early twenties, talking about life as if i know anything. it could probably come across as kind of cute. but at the same time, these are the things i can say at this age.*

*whether what i say helps or not doesn’t really matter to me. just the fact that people come here and listen means a lot.*

*to trust and love someone, i think you first have to love yourself. you need to have confidence and trust in yourself before you can start anything else.*

*🍑:* *i ended up talking for too long. hmm… i think there were times when i got through things by lying to myself, telling myself i’m okay even when i really wasn’t. looking back, i was struggling, but at the same time, doing that made me stronger. so i think it had both pros and cons.*

*going through those times definitely helped me grow, but at the same time, i feel like i never really took the time to reflect on myself. so i think the most important thing is to be honest with yourself. if you had a tough day, admit it. if you had an amazing day, embrace that too. because at the end of the day, it’s you—so why not be honest with yourself?*

okay, i need to stop doing the splits now    
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ    
i’ve been holding it for way too long  

*🌊:  “chaeyeon may be young, but she has experiences, a career, and pain that not just anyone could go through. she probably understands the harsh realities of the adult world, and since i’ve also seen and known these things, i believe that even though i’m younger than her, there are things only she can say, words that carry a weight only she can give.”*  

*🍑: “i’ve been doing this since i was young, right? fans often worry about me, thinking that i must’ve had a really hard time getting to where i am today. of course, it wasn’t easy. there were definitely painful moments, and it was tough, but looking back on my teenage years, i don’t actually think it was that hard.*  

*this isn’t me saying, “oh, i struggled, but i was fine.” it’s more like… physically, i must’ve been exhausted. because if you asked me to go through the same schedules i had back then, i don’t think i could do it again. that’s how hard i worked. but i never really felt like it was tough.* 

*i can say this with certainty because at the time, i never thought, this is so hard. maybe it was just because i was young, but i accepted it as something i was supposed to do, as my job, so i just did it. even if my days ended late and started again at 3 a.m., even if that routine kept repeating, i couldn’t control how physically tired i was, but i got through it. and mentally, i never really felt overwhelmed or anything like that. i think i grew up happy.*  

*now, whether that was because i consciously controlled my mindset or because i genuinely wasn’t struggling, i’m not sure. but i really appreciate everyone’s concern, and at the same time, i don’t want you all to worry too much. i just wanted to say- it really wasn’t that hard for me.”*  
ㅎㅎ i want to do a radio show too    
but that means i have to do better,    
read more books,    
and get better at talkingㅓㅓ  

*🍑: “i think reading a book here and there when i have time would be nice. though, to be honest, i don’t really have that kind of time. just reading a little before bed when i can’t sleep—i think that’s enough.*


*yes, i read all the messages you guys reply with. most of them are serious talks about chaeyeon and stuff, so i feel like writing my silly little things helps me unwind a bit too. if even a little bit of the unresolved frustration in your heart has eased because of me, then i’m really glad. just that alone makes me so happy. thank you for listening to my rambling.”*

*🍑: “normally, there’s only one person who always listens to my rambling—my mom. but since i’m living in a dorm now, i don’t get to ramble as much. i usually come home, take off my shoes, and have my little rambling time with her, so now, whenever i visit home, she even calls it ‘your rambling time.’ it’s a thing between us. but since i can’t do that every day anymore, i end up rambling to you guys instead. ‘please entrust your daughter to me’, was that meant for my mom?”*

*🍑: “it kind of feels like listening to a counseling radio show. but honestly, i’m not qualified to give advice, nor am i in a position to do so. but i’m really good at listening. i believe in the power of listening. i love talking and am confident in it, but i feel like i can only start speaking after i’ve listened first. so if you have any worries, leave them here. i’ll read them all.”*

*🍑: “i hope that one day, my kids will open up to me like that too. oh, i’m so touched. i’m sure you’ll be a great parent. i really believe that. because you’re already such a kind person to me.” wait, is someone crying? ‘unnie, i cried for the first time listening to voice memo today?’ i didn’t mean to make anyone cry, but- why are you crying? don’t cry, don’t cry. i wasn’t trying to make you cry, but… thank you.”* 

*🌊: ‘i was just mindlessly making something today, but unnie, hearing that it made your mood better’*

*🍑: “hyubin-nim, after six years, i’m sorry. anyway, this is what i hoped for. if i was able to brighten your mood for no particular reason, then that alone makes me even happier. have a great day, and let’s have more moments like this againnn”*

let’s have more moments like this again, wavv   
don’t cry    
it’s okay    
this kind of vibe is rare during the day    
but oh well, what are you gonna do\! 💕💕    
who says we can only do this at night💕    
while saying all this, i was also stretching my legs    
but actually, i gave up like five minutes ago    
ugh, it hurt    
have a rising day    
but you don’t have to rise every day    
life itself is already a rising life    
today,    
hmm,    
just have a healing day    
❤️.❤️    
say goodnight to bambi-chan    
i love you more    
you can say you love bambi-chan too    
what’s "chaengsoongi"    
chaengsoongi is nice too    
but i like bambi-chan better    
chaengmeongie, no\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\!    
i will escape from being a puppy    
actually, i don’t really hate it    
i'm a very self-aware person    
ganajiㅣㅣㅣ is mine    
but “poop puppy” is kinda...    
like, am i poop??    
💩🐶    
i’m not poop    
i’m a clean person    
i put so much care into showering    
i brush my teeth often and wash my hands all the time    
ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ    
but brushing three times a day is just right    
chaeng-rat is not okay    
i feel like i’m turning into a rodent or something    
but i’m not a rat\!\!\!\!\!\!\!    
if it’s tom and jerry,    
i’d be tom    
jerry is    
you    
ㅋ    
oh wait,    
tom always loses??    
hmm...    
never mind, i don’t wanna be either    
wait, tom lets jerry win?    
because he loves him??    
that’s kinda romantic    
okay, i’ll do it then    
chaeng-tomie    
ugh.. that sounds like toenails    
“but jerry’s a mouse, and tom’s his natural enemy, yet they keep playing together    
it must be because tom loves him    
that’s what i think”    
so it’s a love-hate relationship...    
but you and i aren’t like that, right?    
if it’s nick and judy,    
who am i?    
oh, i remember kaede and i    
used nick and judy as our fansign theme once    
i liked the picture so much i saved it    
and showed it to my friend    
but they were like,    
“why are you nick??    
shouldn’t you be judy  
and put the nick headband on kaede instead?”    
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ like, hey, i’m a fox too, okay?    
and then they just went “nope, chaeyeonㅠㅠ”    
but my friend says i totally have a tofu face    
not arab, absolutely not    
tofu is delicious    
they just meant my face is pale and has soft, delicate features    
so yeah, not arab-arab\~    
i wasn’t even born that way to begin with    
whatever, everyone calls me a different animal anyway    
i’ll just be a deer    
peace out    
have a good day💖💖💖💖    
everyone calls me something different    
but i’m a deer now    
take care    
love you    
oh nooooo  
“starting today, i’m gonna post a hundred moe-fied tweets of you as a deer. bye”    
nooo    
ajeble    
no way    
nooooo    
fansign prop: deer    
ah, nooo    
sorry    
sorry    
nooo    
ugh, so annoying    
nooo    
sorry    
sorry    
aaaarghhhhhhh    
aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh    
i miss you    
uwaaaaaaaa    
ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ    
i’m leaving    
hmph    
\#poutingmode    
\#butiwillgetoverittomorrow    
fine, i love you more    
😘